TABLE OF CONTENTS

Tamar: Believing Beyond Shame

INTRODUCTION: A Sistahhood of Shame

Have you ever sat in church and felt like you didn’t belong? Are you hurting but no one knows what you’ve been through? What you’re still going through? Do you go through life carrying a shroud of shame? You are not alone. Many women in the church raise their hands when all heads are bowed and eyes are closed, waving their invisible membership in the sistahood of shame. Prepare to be comforted, to receive the robe of many colors so long ago discarded. Rise daughter. Join us on a journey past shame, past rejection. Walk with us on Tamar’s path, the road that leads to the Father’s house.

CHAPTER ONE: Tamar’s Violation

“But she answered him, ‘No, my brother. Do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing!” (I Samuel 13:12, NASB)

Amnon, Tamar’s brother, chose a course of action—deception—long before she arrived with cakes, baked from scratch by clean hands. Though she pleaded with him, she was not heard. This chapter contains stories about of stolen innocence and its aftermath.

CHAPTER TWO: Tamar’s Shame

“Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred . . . greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, ‘Get up, go away!’” (2 Samuel 13:15, NASB)

Though Amnon took what he desired from Tamar, hate quickly replaced his lust, thrusting Tamar outside in the costume of a virgin, raped and ashamed. This chapter features stories of rejection and shame and how Sistahfaith™ can help women heal.

CHAPTER THREE: Tamar’s Flight

“And Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.” (2 Samuel 13:19, NASB)

This chapter tells stories of abandonment, escape and seeking safety.

CHAPTER FOUR: Her Robe, Royal no more

“Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for in this manner the virgin daughters of the king dressed themselves in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her.” (2 Samuel 13:16, NASB)

Though Tamar’s virginity had been taken, it wasn’t the only loss. The carelessness with which she kneaded Amnon’s cakes, Tamar’s identity as a daughter of the king, her sense of belonging in the palace—these were all lost too. In this chapter, women tell of the emotional and mental costs of shame . . . and how Christ redeemed their remnants of self into a new garment.

CHAPTER FIVE: Am I My Sistah’s Keeper?

“Then Absalom her brother said to her, ‘Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother, do not take this matter to heart.” So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.” (2 Samuel 13:20, NASB)

Shameful things often happen within families. Like Tamar’s brother, the response of “family” members is for the woman to keep silent. In this case, Absalom disobeyed his own advice and spent years trying to take revenge for what happened to his sister. This chapter tells stories of how women’s shame has impacted their families.

CHAPTER SIX – My Rear Guard

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.” (Isaiah 58:8, NIV)

Though Tamar had her brother’s house to go to, many times, today’s broken daughters seek shelter with friends who form a net of protection around them, who cover their backs when they are no longer able. This chapter tells stories of sistahfriends who have provided shelter and for women bent low with shame, women searching for a place to heal.

CHAPTER SEVEN: No Choice

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may life, you and your descendants . . .” (Deuteronomy 30:20, NASB)

Though our nation is politically divided by “pro-choice” and “pro-life” issues, the women who get abortions often feel as though they have no life and no choice. Once the procedure is over, however, many women never fully recover from the shame. Of the over one million abortions that take place each year, 70% of the women who get them profess Christian faith. (Alan Guttmacher Institute). This chapter tells stories of Christian abortion survivors who felt powerless before their procedure and worthless after it.

CHAPTER EIGHT – Garments of Praise

“ . . . And provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61:3a, NIV)

This chapter’s stories tell of restoration and redemption of God’s replacing the torn robe of shame with new clothing, the garments of his praise.

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